First of all, I really want to thank the commenters who replied to my last post. I’m a shit at replying, but I read and deeply appreciated what you had to say. Thank you so much.
It’s been a while since I last made a post on the blog; I always seem to forget that I have a blog immediately after writing a post. I’m terribly bad at maintaining this thing; I suppose one day, I’ll forget completely, and that’ll be the end of it.
Until then, I have some things to add to it.
So, some notes on my religious front. The snow up here is melting, and I felt that makes it a good time to welcome Marsava back into my life. I associate her heavily with spring, and money, and wealth in general, and that makes it the perfect time to ritually bring her back. She always gives me the impression of a hardworking, quiet, farmer— someone who does her work faithfully and without fanrare.
I used to worship Apollo, or a being I thought was Apollo. That recently shifted into Aphrodite. I suppose that reflects, a little bit, my transition— what was thought male is actually female—and I wonder if that was something planned by someone upstairs, or something that just happened to happen. It’s not a parallel that I thought of until just now, at any rate. I associate her with the ocean— I miss the ocean sometimes, and hope to live near it again someday.
Sobek has, as always, been an ever increasing force in my life. I associate him, too, heavily with spring, and heavy rains (or, the inundation from the river of the sky). I also associate him with rivers (unsurprisingly), but I haven’t gotten a chance to go near one in a really long time. I’ve been… busy.
I used to want to work with entire pantheons; it’s what I thought paganism was. I thought that, over the course of the year, I’d go to a multitude of different deities, each of whom I’d have a special relationship with. It seems laughable now; but in a way, it was a good thing, because I got a lot of exposure to things that I liked and things that I didn’t like. Right now, I’m content just worshipping my household deities, and applying them to different parts of the year. There are, of course, deities that I go to only for Very Special occasions— I keep a small image of Giltine up during October, and I worship the Netjer of Wep Ronpet like most other Kemetics— but beyond that, I enjoy just working with the deities I’m comfortable with. Who they were used to bounce around, but they’ve solidified into seven; three “main” deities, and four “secondary” deities. (Secondary isn’t really the right connotation, but it’s the only word that truly works)
Saule, Sobek, and Aphrodite, are my main deities. I haven’t really worked with Aphrodite a whole lot, though, and Saule grows really quiet in the winter, so it’s mostly Sobek right now. And I have four “secondary” deities; Marsava, Meness, Sutekh, and Heru. It’s kind of dumb to list them all out like that, as if I’m collecting deities; but it’s taken me years to really solidify what, exactly, my practice looks like, and I enjoy laying it out to see.
It’s almost spring. I can feel it in the air. For the first time— for the first time ever, I’m truly excited to see what’s going to happen next in my life. I feel better about my self— about my body— than I can ever remember feeling.
And, as I work to create a body and a life that I love, I try to remind myself to be thankful. There’s no reason that I should be blessed with my pills, my job, my friends— but I am, and for that, I am grateful. I am grateful; I am grateful; I am grateful.
And… now I have forty minutes to get to work. Thanks for reading my blog, guys. I appreciate your company.