Ma’at is a complex deity. She’s the balance of the universe; she’s truth; she’s good action and strong community. She’s quite a bit more than that, and I’m not sure I’ve even got a good definition of her down now, but for this post, I think that this definition will do.
Part of the fundamental core of Kemetism follows working to increase the Ma’at in your area of life, or at least sustaining it within yourself. I think that lately, I’ve failed at doing so.
I’ve taken on a lot of projects. Some of them I don’t care for, and while I do try and respect my responsibilities, I don’t give as much of myself to them as I should. And some of them, I’m just tired of. I’ve been working on them forever, and I’m not getting what I want out of them.
And then there are others that I really want to work on, that I really enjoy and care for, that I don’t dedicate a lot of time to because I’m focusing my energies on the other projects.
I think it’s time to cut back.
This isn’t easy for me to do. I’m an overachiever; I enjoy working with multiple things in my life. Multi tasking is addictive; you can get high off of successfully completing projects, or at least completing them for a day.
That leads to unfinished projects, though. Unfinished, unwanted, left to the side. Responsibilities left behind, for others to wonder at.
That’s not Ma’at. That doesn’t increase the balance of the universe. Instead, it drains you, and leaves you to the side, used and a little bit more broken from trying to carry more than you could.
I’m not sure what I’m going to cut, honestly. I don’t want to think about it. It’s scary, and it’s worrisome, and I’m terrified I’m going to cut out something that could have been wildly successful if I had just kept on going with it.
But… that’s a risk that I’m going to have to take, isn’t it? Because the alternative is to watch every single project that I’m working on dry up; to watch every task I attempt fail miserably.
I can’t do that to myself. And… my personal Ma’at needs to be taken care of.
It’s my responsibility.